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Project SOS: Share Our Stories

Project SOS: Share Our Stories is a writing opportunity for seniors to share their stories of resiliency and how they got through a difficult time in their lives.

The Town of Okotoks, in partnership with the communities of Black Diamond, Turner Valley, Foothills County, High River and Longview, will share new stories every Wednesday until May 31, 2021.

Check back weekly to read about challenges seniors in our communities have faced, and how they got through it – and maybe find inspiration on how to face your own challenges!

Mauna was born in 1928 in the High River hospital and has lived her whole life in the Okotoks area. Her father was a farmer south of the town center. She rode four miles by horseback to Cameron Coulee School until grade nine on some “pretty crazy horses”.

Mauna went to high school in Okotoks and took her nursing education through the Holy Cross Hospital in Calgary. She met her husband Jim in 1942 in grade 10. He was six weeks late arriving for the school start up due to working the harvest and the war. They began dating and were married in 1950, settling on the Minue family farm.

In 1953 while pregnant with her second daughter Cherie, Mauna contracted polio.

“I was isolated from my family and lived with my parents upstairs away from everyone. The next three weeks, I have no memory of my care or condition. Jim had a bed beside mine and took care of me, sleeping when he could. I was in and out of the hospital with pain until Cherie was born a year and a day after Louanna, my first daughter. This was a very difficult time in my life.” Mauna went on to have two sons in the next three years. She was a busy mom.

Mauna was able to overcome difficult times through the strong love of her family and support by the community. The Rockettes - a service group for women of the Foothills area - were very supportive. The Rockettes helped each other and those in need. It made a huge difference in the quality of people’s lives.

Mauna’s lessons for resilience include helping each other as much as you can and talking things out. “Talk to each other, share your problems and feelings. Give people a smile - it really helps.”

Mauna was a driver for people who needed cancer treatments and took individuals from the surrounding communities into the Foothills Hospital. This service gave Mauna a great feeling of being able to help in her own way. Jim and Mauna gave a lifetime of effort to community service. This spirit of giving as a couple helped them develop resilience in their own lives.

Jim had a problem with alcohol, and when he held his first grandson for the first time it was the impetus to stop a habit that was affecting his farm, marriage and children. He never drank again for the rest of his life. Family was everything. He was also the officiant at the same first grandson’s wedding when he married, a very happy occasion for the Minue clan. Jim was responsible for starting AA in Okotoks and Mauna started Al-Anon in the kitchen of the United Church. Although the meetings changed locations over the years to bigger venues, Jim and Mauna maintained their commitment to serving people and their loved ones with addiction issues. Giving to the community was a huge part of creating resilience and coping with what life brought to their own family.

Jim passed away in 2017. Mauna says she is “putting along with life.” Her hopes for the future include helping her grandchildren pursue their dreams. She has a great-granddaughter that is an aspiring artist following in the footsteps of Mauna and her mother before her. Mauna has 15 great-grandchildren, with another one on the way. Throughout her whole life she has been calm, positive, kind and totally engaged in meeting the needs of others. Mauna has always understood people change their behaviors on their own terms. She accepts everyone for who they are. Her love has always been given unconditionally, and in return she has been so well loved by those in her life.
Joan was born in Milden, Saskatchewan and was the only child in her family delivered in a hospital; her other five siblings were home births. Her father was a farmer. She attended grade school from grades one to 10 at Glenhurst. She did not have to ride a horse to school - Joan just climbed over the fence, and could even pop home for lunch. Grades 11 and 12 were spent at a school in the nearest town of Bounty, about eight miles away. She went to Saskatoon for teacher’s college, followed later by university.

This led to her first teaching position at Cactus Lake, a tiny hamlet that served the farm families in the community. Joan’s friend Lois had the students in grades one to eight, and Joan taught grades nine and 10. Joan and Lois lived in the teacherage, which was really an old granary. Together, they spent a great deal of time at the family home of her future husband Bernie’s parents. Joan and Bernie were married in 1959, a union that lasted 60 years until Bernie passed away.

Bernie helped his family in the general store and drove a fuel truck to deliver gas and heating fuel to the local farmers. He loved that job as he was very social and was always invited in for coffee. Joan and Bernie joined the family business and had the store for over 40 years before it was sold at auction.

Joan was Protestant and the entire community she was teaching in was Catholic. She found it very difficult to be young (18), far from her family and in a totally different environment. The families in the community wanted a Catholic teacher and tried to remove her from her position. Joan “stayed the course,” demonstrated resilience and won over their hearts. The doctor in the community was German and a strong advocate of Bernie’s family. He told the priest, “You leave that girl alone, she is Bernie’s girlfriend.” Joan is still in touch daily via Facebook with a student she had in grade two from her first years as a teacher.

Joan and Bernie were active volunteers in the community for their entire lives. They were involved with Foster Parent’s Plan, the Red Cross, Air Cadets, the church as Sunday school teachers, Brownies, Guides, the Museum Board and the Arts Council, to name a few. Bernie received a Canada 125 medal for his volunteer spirit.
Joan’s lesson for future generations is to stay in touch with neighbors, family and friends: “Community spirit is so important and necessary for the positive health of the environment in which you reside.”

Joan advises keeping pictures close at hand to refer to and keep memories alive. She has embraced technology and loves having her iPad to stay connected with ones she loves. Joan is the resident photographer at The Heartland and very actively involved in all programs. You can count on Joan to find a prop for every special event that is ever featured.

Joan’s hopes for the future are that her “grandchildren will always have good connections with each other and appreciate the environment they live in.”

Joan is a strong advocate of education and encourages young people to pursue their passions and love their work.
Norma was born and raised in the Longview area. Her father worked as a steam engineer in the boiler house for BA Oil, the drilling rigs that were in the area in the 1930s. Norma had one brother, Morley.

She completed her early schooling at Mercury School between Hartell and Little Chicago and moved to Vancouver for a year to escape the smell of sulfur that bothered her mother. The family then returned to live in Okotoks. She graduated from high school in Okotoks, and still has friends like Connie Hunt from those early days. Connie played piano and the girls all learned to dance in the science lab at school. Norma’s father passed away from cancer when she was 17. He was exposed to mustard gas in the war and later the sulfur gas from the rigs. Norma married and had one son and a daughter and now has seven grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. She has a legacy of granddaughters to follow in her footsteps.

Norma was devastated by the loss of her father and learned resilience early on in her life. She had a very close friend, Donna B., and her whole family took Norma into their lives. She spent time with them on the family farm. She was actively involved in the Young Peoples and CGIT group with the church and faith was important in helping her deal with her father’s death. Faith has been a huge part of Norma’s life from Sunday school as a child, to today when she attends church services at The Heartland and at the United Church.

Norma’s lesson for the future include:
-Keep your thinking positive
-Handle each day one at a time
-Do not dwell on the “what ifs,” but on what can be done
-Celebrate health - do not complain as you get old and your parts wear out; her great-granddaughter Lukah taught her that, as she is a miracle of survival in one tiny package.
I come from a family of 12 children and we moved from Manitoba to Alberta when I was four years old. My mother and father loaded seven children and everything we owned into a car, with a ten dollar bill to get us to Alberta. I do not remember the trip but reading my father’s diary at one point we stopped and he fixed someone’s car door for the grand total of 25 cents and he was so thankful. My father was a very special person. The baby needed milk, and a cow in a pasture needed milking - he debated whether to simply milk the cow or ask the farmer for milk. The farmer gave us milk for the whole family and offered us accommodation for the evening.

I was married in 1957 and had seven children of my own. I became a single parent for seven years and then remarried in 1973 to my husband Cliff. He had four children of his own and we became a blended family of eleven children.

My brother was doing mission work and was involved with a group that traveled to Mexico. His enthusiasm excited and motivated Cliff and I to take on a new challenge. We became involved with building a schoolroom that allowed 26 more children to attend, we renovated a church, and as a team built an orphanage for 70 children. This orphanage was often over-capacity - the need was so great. The children were frequently terrified and traumatized by the trip with police to the orphanage, but by the next morning they were completely calm and settled as they knew they had arrived at a safe place.

We continued this effort over 11 years and 39 separate trips of three to eight weeks in duration. This was our retirement.
Volunteering at the orphanage was a testament to my faith that god was in control and we had many blessings in store for us.
My father’s goal was always that his children would all be missionaries one day.

My mission work was a fulfillment of his dream.

I believe that in my faith I was given strength to follow my feelings, and that through this I could make sound and positive decisions. These innermost feelings have been a guide to the way I have lived my life. Resilience has been part of my whole life journey.

My hopes for the future are to continue to let faith lead my path with my family, friends and people I meet.
Mary was born on a farm north of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. She had six siblings, three brothers and three sisters. Mary’s father was a very busy mixed farmer raising both cattle and grain. School for the children was five and a half miles from their home and they walked there and back until grade ten. She married in her early twenties, raised two daughters in the Edmonton area - Terri and Cynthia, and has three grandchildren.

A difficult time for Mary has been the significant losses she has sustained in her immediate family. This included two brothers, three sisters, two husbands and her daughter Cynthia.

Mary feels deep pain with all her losses but also sees the blessings that each one of her family members has given to her. She believes that you need to keep busy, give to others through your time and charitable activities and recognize each day how very lucky you are to have health and happiness in your own life. She works hard at helping others find gaiety and laughter even if it means that “sometimes she needs to make a fool of herself.” Faith has also sustained her through many difficult times. Mary had a wonderful second marriage with Steve and together they traveled, played and embraced life to the fullest.

Mary is a strong believer that the little things in life make a big difference to let people know that you care: a birthday card, a kind greeting, a warm hello and maybe even a dance to music.

Mary’s hopes for the future include a world where there is acceptance of each other no matter where people come from or who they are.

“Remember that for all people, the world is more alike than different. Our hopes and dreams are similar - support the dreams of everyone.”

Mary feels that her family is amazing and so supportive, she is happy to live at The Heartland and embraces the community she lives in. “Life is like a flower garden - there are weeds here and there but I choose to look only at the flowers.”

Mary has lived in many places in her life and no matter where the road has led, she believes you can always find friends that make your life “bright.” The sign on her door reads “Spunky” and that is exactly what Mary is.
Bessie was born in Trinidad and came to Canada fifty years ago with her husband. They moved to Toronto, Ottawa and then Fort McMurray, where together they designed and built a beautiful log home. They had three daughters; one is living in Calgary and the other in New York. Bessie also has a step-daughter in New York and a cherished canine companion in Calgary.

A really difficult time in her life was when Bessie’s husband of more than fifty years passed away from heart complications. Ultimately, this led to her moving to be closer to her daughter in Calgary. She chose to move into The Heartland so she had access to medical care if she needed it in the future.

Bessie feels some of the secrets to her resilient spirit lie in her ability to remain independent. She has a very strong faith that sustains her and is a great believer in the power of nature and exercise. Family and friends are also very important to her and she works hard to maintain connections in this technological world. Bessie believes in the power of maintaining traditions, and dressing up is one of those traditions - she always changes into lovely outfits for special occasions and church.

Her hopes for the future include health and happiness for herself, her daughters and their families. She also hopes that young people today find marriages as strong as she had with her own husband and are as happy.
Vivian was born in a log house in the Moose Mountains of Saskatchewan, the oldest child and only girl with three younger brothers. She was delivered by her grandmother and a neighbor at home. Her father was a mixed farmer, and later they moved into town and he worked for the Co-op.

She took her formal schooling in Arcola and later in Weyburn. Vivian moved to Regina, married and had three children: two daughters and a son. Her husband was Cree and English.

Vivian lost her only son at the age of seventeen.

This was extremely difficult for their entire family to face such unbearable loss.

Vivian pursued a nurse’s aid program and worked on and off in the industry for the next 20 years - a career she thoroughly enjoyed.
Vivian chose to remarry in the late 70’s. She and Don enjoyed many happy years together. They loved traveling, hiking and exploring during the summer months. When he passed away after a lengthy illness, she felt surrounded by the compassion and caring of friends and staff at The Heartland.

Vivian believes the secret to her resilience has been a very strong faith. It has sustained her during difficult times. She also credits the support of family, friends and community as being very important. The Red Hatters ladies club provided a very important role. The opportunities for her in group meetings and their prayer group to share life experiences helped her to remain positive and optimistic. She was not alone. Public speaking proved to be a challenge as Vivian was very shy, soft spoken and quiet, but she “took it on and found the more I did it, the more confident I became.”

Vivian’s hope for the future include:
-Always look on the positive side
-Make your faith front and center
-No matter what a person’s colour of skin is, remember we are all born equal and should treat each other with respect, dignity and kindness
-Embrace new opportunities and change

Vivian even tried belly dancing - she was very intrigued by the genre and she loved it, even travelling to Egypt to learn more about the dance style.

Vivian has many surprises in store: “She may display her belly dance skills at a future talent show.” Her stage name is Zilla after her grandmother. What a wonderful way to embrace a new opportunity. Way to go Vivian!
Tony was born in Gallahad and Audrey was born in Calgary. Audrey was raised in “Little New York” or Longview and Tony in the Turner Valley/Stettler area. They met each other in grade nine in Turner Valley public school and have been married for 68 years. Audrey worked in the oil and gas industry and Tony was employed by ERCB (Energy Resources Conservation Board). They raised three daughters, Cathy, Chris and Kelly, primarily on an acreage southwest of Turner Valley.

A very difficult time in their lives was when they both lost their mothers, Kate and Kate. Audrey’s mother had diabetes and lost her eyesight overnight. She eventually passed away from complications of her diabetes. Tony’s mother had a heart attack. Tony and Audrey were both raised in a home where they were the only child, so this had huge impacts on their lives. Audrey assisted her father with household duties and Tony worked alongside his father with horses, cows and managing the home.

Audrey and Tony believe their resilient lifestyle is a result of a very strong marriage and compatibility. They have lived a healthy life and made their relationship and family a priority. They loved dancing on the weekends. Audrey was always able to support Tony in his love of horses and riding as she knew this was so very important to him to lead a rich and fulfilling life. Tony in turn gave Audrey his complete support in any decisions she made. They worked out together “what came their way and always made each other come first.”

Audrey and Tony’s hopes for the future include the desire that the education system for this generation will have the option to return to classroom learning. They believe that it provides stability and an important social function in growth and development. The both also have a strong hope that role models in sport and the fine and performing arts will have the opportunity to inspire young people. Their great grandson Cohen recently shared with them that COVID-19 was seriously interfering with his chances to get into the NHL. Audrey and Tony could not agree more.
Susan was born in Kent, England in 1939. Her father had a manufacturing business specializing in bar equipment, and she had a brother and sister. She lived in the most bombed village in England during the war, Farningham, a village of about 1000 people. The village was situated directly between France and London in the flight path and frequently the bombs would miss London and hit Farningham. Luckily, despite the heavy bombing, no one lost their life.

When Susan was 18, she left her village to take her nurse’s training at St. Georges Hospital, High Park Corner in London for the next three years. She extended her education on to a fourth year specializing in midwifery.

Susan traveled to Toronto to visit her aunt with a girlfriend. Once there, she was enticed to the prairie provinces and met her husband John at a dance in Medicine Hat. Her girlfriend returned to England, and Susan stayed for the next 50+ years. Her husband was a rancher and they eventually settled north of the Red Deer River in the Cessford area. She loved the prairie lifestyle, being independent, working with cattle, and the vast expanses of land around her.

Susan had a very interesting career as a midwife filled with varied experiences often of an emergent nature. The women who came to her were often facing high-risk deliveries. The midwives had to be able to deal with anything and quickly. They traveled to private homes to assist in deliveries of varied complexities. She recalls being a student nurse and being urgently called to the bathroom to assist a woman who was imminently delivering into a toilet, then traveling by taxi with a distressed newborn baby to a hospital in London. The work entailed long hours under often stressful conditions and the outcome was not always positive.

Susan was young, energetic and enjoyed learning. The position was challenging and interesting. She continued in her career when she came west. Midwives were not as well recognized in Canada as they had been in the UK. Susan was calm and very knowledgeable. This helped her survive and overcome the difficult times.

Susan believes that resilience comes from confidence and learning to become self-sufficient. Her hopes for the future are to see a world at peace. She believes in helping her two daughters, Tracy and Kim, and her son Shawn. She wants to always be there for them. She has lived a great life, and a long life, and wishes that for her family.

“Enjoy what you do and reach out and help others.”
Cal was born in Nova Scotia, and Mary was born in Ontario. They met each other in Lethbridge in 1974. Cal was a consultant with the Alberta Department of Education and Mary was a social worker with the Alberta Department of Social Services. Cal and Mary married in 1974 and helped raise two adopted children from Cal’s first marriage. They have been married for 47 years living primarily in the Lethbridge area and then retiring to the west coast.

A difficult time in Cal’s life was when he moved from rural Nova Scotia to the larger metropolitan area of Yarmouth to attend high school. This move involved him seeking room and board with a family. It created a whole new life experience for him that shaped his future. His mother was very determined to have her children expand their education, and as a result, all three of her children completed university. This was a result of strong family support and hard work by Cal being employed in various jobs to help pay the costs.

An instrumental portion of Cal’s life was a YMCA camp that his mother had heard about. He participated in it for over 15 years with duties that ranged from peeling potatoes to eventually becoming a counsellor and camp leader. The gentleman that ran the camp took a great interest in Cal, recognized his potential and became a huge mentor in the path that his life eventually was to take. Today he is still in correspondence with friends he met through the camp. The YMCA camp experience was a “miracle in his life,” as it provided a whole new world of opportunities. Cal states he has had many miracles in his journey and that he has lived a “great life.”

Cal’s lessons for younger generations about finding resilience include exploring your opportunities, taking advantage of opportunities presented and not being afraid to change your path.

“Look at the doors that open and be willing to take the chance to step through that door and be interested in the world. There is so much out there if you are willing to make the effort to seize opportunities.”

Cal’s hopes for the future include good health and the ability for him and Mary to participate in their interests. Cal hopes that young people today will get to live in a world that gives them opportunities and the abundance of experiences that his world offered.

“Peace, good health and an adventuresome mind are key to success.”
Mary arrived in Canada from Hungary in 1957 with her fiancé Charles. She travelled by train to Austria, then France, then by boat to Halifax, and then train once again to Calgary.

Mary was raised by her grandparents in Hungary as both her parents had become sick during the war; no antibiotics were available to them for recovery and they passed away. Mary had trained to be a pediatric nurse in Hungary but felt coming to Canada was an opportunity for her and Charles to have a better life.

They arrived with the clothes on their backs and five dollars each that they received once they disembarked from the ship New York, which was owned by Aristotle Onassis. The ship had eighteen spots for refugees and Mary and Charles were able to secure two of them. There was no need for a suitcase as they had nothing. Mary experienced severe motion sickness on the ship and the train and felt she was “ready to die.”

The first few nights they stayed in supplied housing and then with a cousin of Charles’. Charles was able to secure a job with CP Rail as a section man (in Hungary he had been a locomotive driver) and Mary became a cleaning lady for a doctor and his wife. The doctor’s wife was very kind and started to teach Mary English by identifying objects in the home. A shoemaker who spoke English and Hungarian also helped them by giving information on how to assimilate into the new world they were living in.

Mary’s jobs expanded over the years and included being a mushroom picker in Calgary, then a mushroom picker in Portage la Prairie; she made Sea-to-Sea dishes, was a cake decorator, picked beets and through this all raised a family of two boys and a girl.

When she and Charles returned to Calgary, they started up Professional Skate Service. This was a very difficult endeavor as no bank would give them a loan for startup. Mary thought, “If they close the door I will go through a window,” and she never gave up asking people. Eventually she found a bank manager who had daughters that were figure skaters and understood the need for a skate sharpening service. The bank manager came to the shop they operated out of a small garage and visited. He understood practice schedules, time to and from arenas, and the coaching involved. He was able to help them financially to buy the equipment necessary to expand their business. Mary said she just had to be persistent until she found the right man that would support them.

Mary and Charles came up with a business model that provided customer service that was unbeatable: picking up skates, dropping them off, giving customers home-baked goods and coffee while they waited, being friendly and supportive, knowing names, perfection in the skate sharpening process, and the business grew. Today it is owned by the third generation of her family - her granddaughter and husband. Her 12-year-old great grandson is already interested in the business.

Mary’s lesson of resilience is to be persistent in your pursuits.

Never give up and always be positive. Mary and Charles were a team-he could do, make, fix, drive almost anything and she would do everything to support him and their new life in Canada. Mary encourages all of us to “pass on our experiences and help others. Remember to show your appreciation for opportunities.” She believes we should give all newcomers to Canada a chance and the opportunity they need to succeed. At Heartland Mary says “we have many employees from all over the world-they are very hardworking and very kind. It is our responsibility to be kind back not always in money but in time, a big smile goes a very long way.”
The year was 1950 when my parents immigrated to a new land, Canada. There were six of us that left Holland; my mom, my dad, my oldest sister and youngest sister, my brother and myself. My parents had sold their house, and the people who purchased it also purchased a German Shepard dog that Dad had got for Mom when he was in the army.

Dad got the dog to protect my mom and sister, but things did not go well for the dog as he would not let the new owners into the house. Family members were called to assist, but the dog wouldn’t let anyone in. My mom was terribly upset when she got the news when we arrived in Canada that her dog would not let anyone into the house, and therefore had to be shot.

Let us go back to when we were in Holland. I remember some family members coming extremely late at night to say good-bye to us. It was an exceedingly difficult time for all of us. After we said our good-byes, we were all loaded into some vehicles and taken to Amsterdam to board the ship Tabinta. The Tabinta was a converted cattle ship but that did not matter. It would take us to our new country and we were all excited about our new adventure. I remember little about the journey, but I do remember my mom was very seasick so my dad looked after us older children, and Mom of course looked after my baby sister, who was three months old.

During the sailing part of our journey, I saw my sister trying to walk the rail so I ran to tell my dad. While I was running, a Negro gentleman grabbed me. I had never seen a Negro before. I was very frightened so I bit him and started running again. I ran into something and cut my head open. Blood all over me, my sister walking the rail, my poor dad didn’t know what to do! Someone offered my sister a candy, so she got off the rail and all I got was stitches. No one gave me a candy and I was the good girl of course. I still am the good girl.

We arrived in Ottawa, Canada, our new country. The Red Cross was there to help the people with diapers, milk and whatever else anyone might need. A doctor looked at my head but he did not give me a candy! Eventually we boarded a train and after a lengthy ride we arrived in Calgary where my dad’s employer was waiting to take us to the farm he would be working at.

The man put us children in a car then started loading the trunk with our belongings. Things went rather smoothly until he went to put a wicker-type basket into the trunk. My mom took it out, he put back it in. My mom took it out, he put back it in. My mom took it out and tried to tell him that there was a baby in it but he didn’t understand Dutch and my mom didn’t understand English. Imagine that man’s surprise when my mom took the basket and proceeded to take my sister out!

Things in our new country went rather smoothly. There were of course problems with getting groceries and other things we needed but somehow, despite the language barrier we settled into our new country, and learned its language and customs. We all enjoy Canada and appreciate the freedom my dad and others fought for. I pray each one of you enjoy them as well.

Yes, we love Canada our new country, our country by choice.

My advice to people immigrating to Canada is to learn the language and customs, how our government is elected and how it works for the people of Canada. Travel around Canada as much as you can and get to know all the provinces from east to west. Each province has its own history, its own beauty and its own unique places and people.

As you travel around Canada you will meet people from all over the world. Some will look the same as you and some will not. Canada accepts all people, no matter the colour or race. As you travel, check out the historical sites. There is so much to learn from them about the people who first settled here, what type of homes they built, how they traveled, what they ate and how they farmed the land. You will be surprised as you travel the country of your choice, Canada, what you will learn about it, its people and its customs.

I have lived here for 70 years and am so grateful to Canada for accepting me as one of their own. I am so proud to call myself Canadian.
My husband arrived in Canada in 1951 and I arrived from Germany in September of 1952.

My husband had been a POW in England and the US and had picked up some English, but I could not speak a word and neither could my daughters. He was employed in Calgary as a bricklayer. The children learned how to speak English in school and on playdates, and I learned from them.

It was very difficult to find housing. We secured a one bedroom suite. We added to our family with two sons and one had many health problems. Health insurance was non-existent and the financial strain of his surgeries and medication was overwhelming. My husband eventually had his own brick company and then specialized in fireplaces. I was a nurse in Germany and when the children became older, I worked as a healthcare aide in a nursing home.

I believe I was able to overcome the hard times and be resilient because of the way I was raised. I was taught to never give up and say lots of prayers. I had a wonderful marriage and my husband was very supportive. I had to “keep it together” for him and our children.

My message to future generations is to stay the course and “do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. Love has no color. Everyone is deserving of kindness.”

My hopes for the future are that COVID-19 ends. I would like my great grandchildren to have social opportunities with friends and a complete life away from technology and out in the world. I also wish for them an attitude of never giving up. I am 94 years old and there is still so much for me to learn, see and do. I have a beautiful family and I want to be a part of their lives and their future for as long as I can. I want to live my life to its greatest potential.
Oscar was born May 2, 1928 in Romania. There were five boys in the family, and Oscar was the second oldest son. His father was a finishing carpenter that made specialty items like baby cribs and furniture. The whole family came to Canada in 1958 and his father continued in the carpentry business. Oscar worked in many areas but primarily became a plasterer. He married his wife Elvira while in Germany just before they came to Canada. Together, they had three boys and one girl and settled in Calgary.

In 1951 Oscar broke his leg in two places. He fell from a scaffold on a construction site. He ended up on workman’s compensation for two years.

“The plank gave a little and he gave a little and kerplunk. Off he went,” says Oscar.

This was very difficult with four children and financial responsibilities. His family helped him out as much as they were able to do so but they had their own families to care for as well.
Oscar says his secret to being resilient is to maintain your energy and your will. “You may have to struggle but you can get through almost anything. It takes a long time to heal when you come across adversity like an injury.”

He said it was years before he could walk properly again. It was hard to not be able to do the things he had previously enjoyed and to learn that this was his new reality.

Oscar’s message for future generations is “take it easy.”

“Do not be in a hurry to embrace life - have patience.” Oscar wishes he would have learned a trade and stuck with it, got his papers and had his own business.

“If you have patience with the trade you have got it made.”

Oscar thinks the secret to his long marriage was that each of them had their responsibilities - he took care of the next plastering job and Elvira took care of the home and children. He believes that coming to Canada gave him many opportunities, “the chance to grow and spread and experience life.” Romania was so poor - what the Germans did not take Russia plundered. The government of Romania had no financial resources to help their own people, so families were constantly told, you must help yourself.

Oscar and his family had a strong belief in the message they heard from other people: Canada is a country where you may not become extremely wealthy, but with hard work you will survive. He believes Canada gave him the life he would never have had otherwise and is incredibly grateful. “Young people today just need to keep plowing on and they will have a great life.”
Elmer was born in Salmo, BC and Noreen was born in Nelson. Elmer’s mother passed away when he was seven years old, and his father was in the armed forces. He was placed under the direction of social services and into the home of an elderly lady in Nelson.

At 15 years old, he began laying railway track for CP Rail and he turned over his check each month to his guardian. When he thought he had saved enough money to pay room and board to an aunt who lived in Nelson, he was ready to move out. Unfortunately, his caregiver had spent all the money from his paychecks that he thought she had banked in his name. He had no money in the bank to show for his hard work. His aunt allowed him to move in with her and he continued working for the CPR.

Noreen and Elmer met through mutual friends when he was about 18. Noreen was brought up in a very strict but loving family and they would not allow her to date Elmer until she finished business school. Her father was with the RCMP and had very strong rules for behavior. Noreen was from a family of three girls, and Elmer was indeed the “candy kid.” He was the son they never had.

Elmer was invited for Sunday dinners and ate with a great appetite as his aunt was not a talented cook. They drove to Trail to pick out their engagement ring and when Noreen showed her mother, the response was, “Do not do anything else foolish for a while.”

They married in 1953, bought a car brand new, sold the car, bought an older house and had two sons. Elmer managed a welding supply company and they were transferred many times within BC. When the children were old enough, Noreen worked as a paralegal. Those were rough years moving constantly and making ends meet. They eventually followed their son to Didsbury as “family was everything and we wanted to be close.”

They survived the hard times by taking in boarders to help financially. Noreen fed them three meals a day and did all their laundry. As a gesture of appreciation for being so well cared for by the Milburns, the boarders would sometimes baby-sit the boys so Noreen and Elmer could go square dancing. The boarders also loved to watch their TV.

The secret to their resilience was the role modelling Noreen’s parents provided. Her parents were always supportive and loving. Noreen and Elmer had faith, they were very frugal with their money and hardworking in all aspects of their life. They surrounded themselves with friends and were good friends to others.
“Love is the key, and celebrate your family. Get along with each other even if you do not have the same beliefs. Strive for peace, harmony and good health,” says Noreen.

Noreen’s hopes for the future are to be placed on her son Christopher’s mantel beside Elmer, and then eventually to be buried side-by-side in her mother’s gravesite in Nelson. Noreen and Elmer were married for 65 years.

“Close friends make the music sound sweeter, the wine taste richer and the laughter ring louder.”
Barb and Hector were born in Saskatchewan and raised on farms. Hector was one of 12 children including nine boys and three girls, and Barb was from a family of four. Barb’s family emigrated from England and Hector’s parents emigrated from Scotland. Hector’s father was a bricklayer and he knew little about farming. Both families, while living in the UK, had read about the golden opportunities of coming west and what Canada had to offer.

When they arrived in Canada, times were very tough and money was in short supply for everyone. The government at that time did not provide any subsidies to struggling families learning how to become farmers. Getting enough food on the table to feed a family of 12 was difficult. Hector went to work at 14 years old as a hired man for neighboring farmers to make money to help support his large family. Barb finished grade 10 by babysitting the teacher’s children. In exchange for the babysitting, the teacher gave private tutoring to help Barb in her schoolwork. The teacher encouraged her to further her education by going to a boarding school in Battleford for $33 a month, which included housing, food and education.

At 16, Barb and Hector met. That fall Barb was hired by a neighboring farmer to do all the combining of his fields, working seven days a week until every field was completed for the grand total of $300. On rainy days, Barb fenced, stretching barbed wire on the posts. This was followed up by a job as a telephone operator, and Hector and Barb started dating.

Hector worked in the oil industry and as a truck driver, and Barb took on office positions. They married in 1957 and began life in Weyburn, Saskatchewan and later moved to Calgary. Raising a young family and making ends meet was often difficult. Memories in the early years include eating pancakes three times a day to stretch the food budget. They believed in each other and loved the life they were creating for their children. They were resilient together and faced life head-on as a team. This year they were able to celebrate 63 wonderful years of married life. It has been a journey that has brought much happiness to them despite health challenges and sacrifice. They have four children, 11 grandchildren and many great grandchildren.

Patience with each other and the belief that if you worked hard you would be able to better yourselves was a paramount goal. It was crucial as the key to overcoming difficult times. Family was everything, and education was very important to ongoing success.
Barb and Hector believe it is vital to be your own person and follow your intuition. Live your life by what your heart tells you. Keep your sense of humor and be willing to laugh together. Do not compare yourselves to other people and use common sense.

Hopes for the future: continued good health, special times together as a family and to celebrate the many happy moments life brings.
The flood of 2013 - my journey of resilience. The flood was the most difficult time in my life.
I was continually amazed at all the help I had and all the goodness it brought out in people. I feel it brought out the very best in so many people. My message for others is that a disaster or a pandemic brings out the best in some and the worst in others.
You lose everything you have in your life within an hour. My husband and I were rescued by boat. When I asked my rescuer how he was doing, he replied, “My house has been flooded and I do not know where my wife is.” He was out helping others despite what was happening in his own life.
When it was our turn to be transported to safety we asked him to take our neighbor who had a broken arm and a dog. Our neighbor had almost drowned as he was impatient for the rescue. We were informed they were not allowed to skip a house because it was a methodical search to include everyone in a specific sequence.
Our house was deemed unfit to live in and we tried with great difficulty to find a place to live, but one after another closed because the water was still rising. We had friends that had been able to rescue their car and they offered to take us to Calgary to a hotel. When we arrived in Calgary, we found all available spots were booked up with victims of the flood. I phoned a hiking friend and she took us in that night. We stayed a week with her and then luckily another friend sent out an email to fellow hikers saying we were homeless. Two or three friends responded to our call for assistance and we ended up staying with hiking friends close to Spruce Meadows. I wanted to be close to High River so we could oversee the restoration of our house.
My husband found the situation insurmountable. When we consulted with our insurance company, we were informed that they were not willing to let us hire a specific contractor to restore the house. I had to become the general contractor and hire specific tradespeople to do the restoration. My neighbor had hired someone to deliver a new furnace and I followed up with a phone call to this company. The owner was a lady. She was very organized and punctual and so I ordered my furnace from her as well. She told me that I needed an electrician and I used her contact. Each step from then on everyone got me through to the next step. It was a chain reaction that turned into recovery for our family.
The electrician told me that our fuse box was under water and the insurance would only pay for a repair not a replacement. He came up with a solution that had longevity for future problems. Everyone was so nice and so helpful.
My message: never give up hope - there is always someone who will help you get through a bad situation. We can all find resilience.
At the house we stayed in, I was asked to water the flowers. Each day when I returned from my daily trips to High River, watering the flowers gave a sense of normalcy to my day and helped sustain in me a positive attitude. Kindness by so many people during the day followed by taking care of the flowers at night gave me a routine and helped life continue.
I believe in hope - there will always be a brighter time - sunshine after a storm.
My hope for my community is that no one ever has to experience something like this again. I hope that adequate safeguards to the best of human ability have been put in place.
As has been said by so many at one time or another, “Today is a good day!”

To be realistic, maybe today is a hellish day, a day of disappointments, the worst day ever for whatever worst reasons, causing it to be an “in the dumps day!”

Well, I have been there, done that, experienced hopelessness and helplessness and felt as if I was doomed to die and almost wished it to stop – this life of extremes!

Actually, it is a good day because you learn that you can’t extricate yourself from this particular moment of life on your own by yourself and a greater power than self is needed to bring you through to wellness of mind, body, soul and strength.

Why would I say that? What difficult times could I have faced? What possible extreme situation could I have lived through and what lessons did I learn for life survival?

In 1971, I went to Vietnam to start a ‘new life’ in a ‘new country’ to work with a ‘new group of people’ and ‘learn a new language’ – Vietnamese.

It was there in Da Nang for the next two years that every Saturday night was the ‘Saturday Night Special’. Rockets flaring through the wee hours of the morning ending in violent explosions that lasted for several hours – the radio blaring “Da Nang is under attack, Da Nang is under attack” with the city sirens splitting the air with an intensive wail.

Finally silence allowed sleep to return and bring peace and a sense of the thankfulness for surviving another ‘Saturday Night Special’. The city lights that had been turned off enveloping us in darkness were now beginning to radiate the light of hope – the signal of a ‘new day’, a ‘new gift’!

For six out of the seven days of a week, we let go of the memory of Saturday and focused on the variety of colourful fruits and vegetables, mounds of chicken and pork and fish in the open air displayed on the market tables. Why stay locked up in negativism when 96% of the time, we enjoyed Vietnamese music, Vietnamese restaurants, being among the gentle, friendly and resilient Vietnamese people; get the mind off the negative: the rockets-the explosions-the sirens and focus on the days of happiness, learning and speaking Vietnamese; living in the present as I spoke in many churches followed by dozens of young people.

Life in Banmethuet was at best a normal tribal/Vietnamese living in situ for nearly 2 years. Then it happened! The explosions start and lasted five hours – 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. with 50,000 artillery and rocket shells falling on Banmethuet. After a lull of about two hours, the South Vietnamese launched a bombardment of the North Vietnamese that lasted about eight hours. South Vietnamese planes flew straight up into the sky, flipped over and screamed straight down, rockets launched from the wings to attack the North Vietnamese tanks in the fields as well as bombs released. By this time we were ordered out of the hole in the ground where I had retreated for shelter. As I came out of the shelter, in front of me I saw a ring of North Vietnamese around me with AK’s pointed at me and I was led away to the corner of our village street and had my hands tied behind my back and personal items taken from me. In a simply incredible moment, an officer appeared in front of me and removed his automatic weapon and pointed it at my head. In that same moment, I began to speak to him in Vietnamese, gave what I thought were suggestions of actions and then he looked at me, put his weapon away and ordered the North Vietnamese to untie me, give my personal effects back and take me away into the jungle and up the hills and I officially became a POW.

What happened next was a forced march through Ho Chi Minh Trail and jungle to begin a 8.5 month movement through POW camps and taken by truck to Hanoi and then to the final POW Camp called Son Tay where U.S. Senator John McCain had been imprisoned. After the 8.5 months of eating leaves off the trees and bushes that were used to feed pigs, days of interrogations we as a group of 8-10 foreigners who had been held with several hundred SVA personnel, were released to the United Nations High commissioner for Refugees and taken to Hanoi; Vientiane, Laos; Bangkok, Thailand, then as Canadians to start our return to Canada via an overnight at the Canadian ambassador’s residence.

What was a time of impossible hope became a miracle of a new start of life and wonderful meeting with our two children, aged 10 and 11, who had returned previously to Canada from Panang Malaysia, not knowing if they would see their parents again. They knew that six missionaries before us were all killed. This time it would be a time of joy and thankfulness.

We had been captured March 10, 1975 and released October 30, 1975. Never did I experience fear. I had many deeply held faith truths. Yes, I suffered PTSD and Malaria comas and mental disturbances but I kept reframing bad issues with, “thank you for the gift.” Now I’m writing a book, “I Never Thought”- stark revelations of my life journey through several decades.
As for the immediate time, my wife and I are enjoying this part of our life in Okotoks, Alberta. The move here from Ontario was heart wrenching: leaving our friends and family members to join with other family members here. We relish the community here, the kindness of strangers, the privilege of giving back to others as members of the Lions Club of Okotoks, the Knights of Columbus at St. James Church, helping out at the Poppy Campaign of the Okotoks Legion, and attending our own events.

Remember to “reframe” the difficult times and travel life’s pathways. Share the good times to encourage each of us to keep on moving forward. We are in this life together so let’s make the best of it and reap the benefits together.
Helen was born in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia and is one of 11 children. Her father was a coal miner, policeman and a volunteer firefighter. Her mother had attended culinary school and was the best baker/chef ever. Helen fondly remembers Sunday dinners with the whole family gathered and her mother’s delicious meals.

Helen worked at Dalhousie University for five years, took a business program in Ontario, and eventually moved to Alberta after the loss of her husband Paul. Helen has two daughters, Kym and Sherry, and a son Dave. She also happily celebrates her special times with her five grandchildren.

Helen has demonstrated a spirit of resilience by overcoming early childhood trauma and issues with dependency on alcohol. She credits faith, family and strong community support programs as giving her the strength to overcome and thrive. Helen has always felt that giving to others and helping people is a key to living life to its fullest. Her heart is filled by knowing she has shared love. She has a unique ability to reach out to others at The Heartland and be their special friend. Helen has found a niche as an ambassador to make early contact with new residents and assist them in settling into community living.

Helen’s message to the younger generation would be to have a deep faith and share love with the world regardless of color or circumstance. She especially has a soft spot for young men as they find their place in the difficult world around them. “Pick your friends carefully as they have a strong influence and often you learn lessons the hard way.”

Helen is facing early onset dementia. Her hope for the future is to stay positive, strong and move forward each day. She is ready to face new challenges as her life changes and continue giving back to her community in any way she can for as long as she can do so. She has found a key to her happiness is to take each day one at a time. Her hope for the future of the community is to “be kind to each other, take time to listen and share and celebrate what each person has to offer.”
I am a manic depressive. I have been one since I was 17. I am now 81, so I have had a long run with the illness. I prefer to call it manic depression. Bi-polar just doesn't cut it. It does not describe the horror, the despair and anguish that the disease creates.

Well-meaning people would offer help. They would say, "Buck up, you have nothing to be sad about.” And that was just it, you didn't have anything to be depressed about. But you were profoundly so and there was no reason to be. Or, "Why don't you go for a brisk walk and forget about your sadness?"
Those ‘helpful hints’ work well for a reactive depression, but not so for a clinical one. A reactive depression is when one is reacting to a death of a loved one, a failure, or a disappointment. A clinical depression is caused by an imbalance of the chemicals in the brain.

Glenn Close, writing in the Huffington Post, says her sister Jessie lives with bi-polar disease and she is fighting to survive not only the disease, but the terrible stigma that surrounds mental illness. I have been hospitalized many times over the years. When we were taken on outings to the bowling alley or a picnic in the park, I would pull my collar up around my face, hoping no one would recognize me. I was always embarrassed by my illness. I never ever thought I would be writing about it.

And then I would swing into a manic phase. I would have untold amounts of energy. My thoughts were always racing and I couldn't sleep. I was irrational. Once, when I was in the hospital, I thought I was going on a business trip with my husband. A woman in my ward had far nicer clothes, jewelry and shoes than I. So when she went out on a day pass, I transferred all her clothes to my locker. I thought this was perfectly fine, but she didn't.

At the various hospitals I was given electric shock treatments, which worked sometimes and sometimes not. But the medical profession is struggling to come up with a cure and treatments to alleviate the pain.

If I were asked, "how did you cope?” there is not much you can do. You just have to hang in there and remember that it does end. I found doing crosswords or knitting helped me focus. And it does end! Just be patient.
May was born in Victoria, on Vancouver Island at St Joseph’s hospital in 1942. It was a scary time due to fears that Victoria Harbor could be bombed because of the recent destruction of Pearl Harbor. It was a difficult time too for her parents.

May had a sister born in High River in 1945 and had a baby brother born when she was fifteen; May was very happy about this as she loved babies. She was excited to help with the new addition to her family.

May met her husband Brian in 1960 and married in 1961. May and her husband went on to have two daughters. One of her daughters lives fifteen minutes west of Okotoks and the other lives near Cochrane. May moved to the Heartland five years ago and she has enjoyed the relationships that she has formed, the activities that she has participated in and the overall atmosphere felt at the Heartland.

May felt that one of the most difficult times she was able to overcome was when she and her husband experienced some serious marital difficulties. She was faced with a tough decision. She asked herself, “Should I stay or should I leave?”

May relied heavily on her faith to make this decision as her faith was the priority. May decided that she would work through the difficulties with her husband in order to return to the healthy relationship they once had. May went on to have a long-lasting marriage with her husband Brian for the next fifty three years.
May shared that “God was her strength and knowing that helped her to realize that no matter what life threw at her, with God’s help she could get through it. She also states that “there are a lot of hard times in life for everyone and people need to use the anchor of faith , people give up to easily.”

May’s message for future generations that might be experiencing similar struggles would be to tell them not to give up because relationships are so important and worth the pain, work and commitment. “If you care enough to marry your partner, then it is worth the effort to work to save the relationship. Forgiveness is an essential ingredient to overcoming hard times, no matter what the circumstance. Our decisions and actions can have far reaching consequences that can affect future generations.”
On Halloween of 2008, my wife passed away at the age of 45 from ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. I had three daughters I was left to raise on my own. My occupation was as an ‘over-the-road truck driver,’ which necessitated being gone from home anywhere from two to three weeks at a time. In my career as a driver, I travelled over five million miles. The girls were independent but became more so, very quickly.

Being on the road was good therapy from such a tragic loss. I was able to talk to many people about my life.

In 2012, I was diagnosed with MS and the debilitation of the disease left me unable to continue in my chosen career. Two years later I was no longer able to drive at all. In 2015, I was confined to a wheelchair and moved to the Heartland. Several of my friends from work fundraised and purchased me an electric wheelchair.

Lessons that I learned were many. One must live to survive. Tragic loss does not have to mean life stops. Life can sometimes kick but you have to kick back. I would recommend that if life gets you down, it is necessary to stay happy and appreciate what you still have. One never knows when the next event will take something away. Everyone comes with an expiration date so celebrate each moment and the people whose lives matter to you.

My hopes for the future are special times with my daughters and maybe one day grandchildren will be in the picture.

Seniors, we want to hear your stories!

With age comes experience and resilience. We invite you to share a story or two about a difficult time you faced and how you got through it. Your stories can help others who are facing difficult challenges. Family and Community Support Services (FCSS) is facilitating this opportunity for seniors to share their stories.
Stories can be written by hand, typed, or submitted through a video telling your story vocally. We encourage photographs to be submitted with submission.
Submissions can be emailed via the online contact form (please select FCSS from the drop down menu), however, please call and discuss options for submitting videos.
Collected stories will be shared in 2021 on the Town of Okotoks' website.
Please fill out this Freedom of Information and Privacy form when submitting your submissions.

How To:

1. Write about a difficult time in your life (war, natural disaster, health challenges, financial hardship, bereavement, disability, being a newcomer, etc.)
2. What did you (and if applicable, your family, community, country) do to survive/overcome difficult times?
3. What lessons would you learn, and what messages would you like to pass on to younger generations about resilience?
4. What are your hopes for your future and the future of our community?
- Remind yourself why you are writing! Do not write for other people; write because you have something to say.
- Commit to a daily goal such as 200 words, 30 minutes a day, 1 paragraph etc.
- Find a quiet, clean, well-lit place to write. The less distracted you are, the better quality of writing you will be able to produce.
- Take breaks!
- Read a story, whether it is a newsletter, a newspaper, or a book. It will help you relax and get the creative juices flowing!
- Talk with other people that are writers or are working on the same project.

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